Old Guys and Hipster Hats-----STOP IT! OH GOD STOP THIS AT ONCE!!!!

Oh Christ!!!! STOP! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!

Its bad enough that this stupid hat craze has progressed as far as it has with the 20 somethings but if your 30,40 or even 50 freaking years old and you are wearing one of these tiny felt are straw hats. Then guess what? You are a GIANT Douche BAG! and whats worse? Everyone knows it and they are laughing at you.

I bet in the early nineties you had an ear ring in your left ear, a tiny pony tail and you had just got your arm inked with some bitchin tribal arm band art to cover up that Calvin and Hobbes tattoo that you got in college. Well guess what? Once a douche always a douche? Well, it doesnt have to be. Take control of your adult fashion life and own up to the fact that people only wear hats these days because they are either balding and trying to hide it or trying to block the glare of the sun while on a boat or playing baseball and that is the wrong hat for those activities. Unless you a rich freak of nature like Johnny Depp. You have no need to be wearing hats. Sun screen is cheap and at your age it's high time that you own up to your baldness. Embrace it!

Sorry for the tough love but damnit! Someone had say it................Oh, and don't you dare start wearing one of these instead as they make men look like an effeminate wimp.

Using the word "Authentic" when describing something.

Kids, I have been noticing a disturbing trend in our media lately. Namely, the over use of the word, "authentic". Frankly, my minions the use of this word has reached a tipping point. Why, only last night I saw 3 stories on CNN where the talking head was extolling their show as a show that brings "authentic" stories to the fore front. As well as a Hooter's rip-off (Twin Peaks LLC) eaterie proclaiming that their place is an "authentic" mountain cabin where men can have beer at 29F,,, not 32F or even 30F but an honest to god 29F!!! Wheewwww! because we all know how crappy beer tastes at only 30F.
 But I digress! Back to that evil over-used word. What is it with these media types? Do they all go to the same meeting and vote on decriptives to pummel into the ground each year?
If we are going to over use this word then lets go whole hog!
Lets add it to everday life.
1) Authentic homelessness
2) Authentic death
3) Authentic whores (as if there wasnt any other kind)
4) Authentic taxes (because taxes just need more oomph! don't you think?)
5) Drugs to give you that authentic high.

See how silly that is? So, all of you media types out there. Please go have another meeting and agree to stop using the word, "authentic"....I'm talking to you Anderson Cooper!